Saturday, December 19, 2015

Since March

It's been such a long time since I've put words to web, yet it feels just like home as I sit in my oversized man tee and type this out. So much has happened since my last post in March, when I thought I wanted to write food reviews around Brisbane (clearly by the absence of posts, this didn't last long). I'm still a massive food lover and purveyor of the new and exciting food spots around Brisbane and beyond, but I just wasn't in love with it, so my passion faded quickly despite my belly staying full.
In fact passion is why I find myself here, despite the fact that I haven't blogged in such a long time, my love for writing actually hasn't faded. I've stayed true to literature, I just haven't stayed true to the blogosphere.
This year has been such a massive one of growth and personal development, of working out who I am, where I fit in this crazy world and what I want to do to change it. I've experienced some pretty serious hard truths, I've stood up for myself and walked away from things not meant for me. I've travelled to the other side of the globe to see what the world has to offer and I've hit the reset button on projects and goals that I expected to have achieved by now. I've learnt that I'm an incredibly harsh critic of myself and that it is possible to be both exhausted and bored at the same time. I've felt tremendous loss, and dizzying excitement, I've felt happiness that made me cry and anger so furious I could barely breathe, but through all of this I've learnt new things. New ways to adapt to life and new lessons that will help to guide me to better decisions as I grow. I've experienced awe at the world around us, at the achievements of man and been humbled by the greatness of others. I've experienced gratefulness in bounds as this year I was able to see and achieve things I never could have dreamed and I will most certainly remember 2015 as a year of wonder. I've found solace in unexpected places and found endless love in the hearts of my family and friends. I've found I still have a passion for creativity and I've found that no matter how busy I get, my love of writing, sketching and designing are enduring.
My passion has never faded for the written word and this year I've rekindled my love of books, I've delved into literature like never before, and appreciated both the hard and the easy reads. I've learnt to read a few books at a time, and I'm currently reading three different books, each to suit a different mood. I've kept a note book and whilst over seas wrote several passages about the world around me when I felt inspired.
I've found my love of design return to me, with no pressure of ensuring my work sells and is commercially viable I've been free to simply design for myself creating pieces with real love, care and attention to detail.
I've found time for myself, I've enjoyed the peace that comes from being alone with no agenda and I've finally learnt to enjoy things in the moment. Mindfulness is an art form, and one that needs to be practised often.
I'm still most certainly a planner but I'm learning to try to not block myself into goals, to understand that life has a natural flow and sometimes it's best to just trust it and let it lead you. If you work hard at whatever you do, you will find success even if it looks different to what you imagined.
This post has been extremely self indulgent and I've used the word "I" a lot, but something else I've learnt this year, is that it's your life, you are one of 7.3 billion people, so let your life be about you and not about everyone around you.
We need more self love in this world and less self loathing and it's up to you, to love you.
May you have a wonderful weekend, a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

The Mirror of Erised - When you look into it you are to see all that your heart desires, and it is said to make men go mad. Stop desiring everything in the world and create what you want for yourself. Chances are, when you look at your life from the outside, you're probably doing better than you think.